Tag Archives: vulnerability

Personal & Spiritual Growth

Here is a list of a few concepts from a new book about personal growth and spiritual process that I plan to publish 1n 2023, which covers some of what I teach in numerous workshops and share in my Life Coaching. As the book nears publication, I will post the information here and on my social media pages.

• The seven elements of essence
• Respond rather than react
• Influence rather than control
• Unconditional compassion rather than unconditional love
• We use 90% of our brain to keep us believing we only use 10%
• Embrace rather than comprehend
• Service rather than self-serve
• Understanding rather than judgment
• Embracing our essence rather than following our enculturation
• Lifestyle versus career
• Friendship rather than isolation
• Natural rather than normal
• Power rather than force
• Curiosity rather than fear
• Depth rather than shallow
• Understanding core beliefs rather than simply patterns
• Change rather than resistance
• Listening rather than talking
• Flexibility rather than rigidity
• Imagination rather than willpower
• Open-minded rather than dogma
• Living rather than dying
• Performance rather than trauma/drama
• Embracing rather than surrendering
• Optimism rather than pessimism
• Reverence for life rather than irreverence
• Responsibility rather than avoidance
• Essence rather than ego and personality
• Support rather than dominance
• Planning rather than worry
• Creativity rather than stagnation
• Transcend rather than circumvent

 

How to Survive the Loss of a Love

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Many years ago I had a curious experience. In my private counseling practice in Phoenix, Arizona. I was talking with a young woman who was anxiously sitting on my couch and who had recently experienced loss of a love relationship when it ended. She appeared inconsolable.

In the midst of her sobbing, we both were drawn to a thin paperback book that seemed to leap out of the bookcase several feet away across the room and landed on the floor face down in front of the coffee table by the couch. It was too far to have simply fallen out of the bookcase.

I thought of the significance for a moment as we each gazed at the book and in turn, looked questioningly at each other.

Although I had no idea what the book was I then said, “If I were you I would take that book home and read it.”

She just stared as I got up from my recliner and walked to the book. Intrigued, I picked it up and turned it over to read the cover and then I turned it around so she could read the title, “How to Survive the Loss of a Love.”

Whatever you think caused this specific book to spring out of the bookshelf and land nearly at her feet just when she needed it the most, suspend your judgment and nurture an open mind. Opportunity can happen when you least expect it. Frequently in unexpected ways when you have the courage to embrace it.

Needless to say, she took the book and left. In anticipation, I waited for her return the following week for our next session.

Redirecting Our Subconscious

In my 46+ years of professional service, I have observed a number of common patterns shared by numerous individuals. Patterns may be common; however, the individuals are anything but common. You might think of it this way. A significant part of you wants to create an effective resistance designed to slow your positive momentum. How is the best way for this to happen? Who knows you with the greatest accuracy and depth? Who knows your greatest fears and triggers? Who knows your inner secrets? Who knows what makes you feel ashamed or insecure? I believe that your subconscious knows all of this and much more.

When I am working in a Life Coaching partnership with an individual with demonstrable progress, I am not surprised that frequently resistance develops. There are a number of reasons that this happens. Depending on several diverse factors beginning in our infancy, we are enculturated. This includes parenting, schooling, societal values and beliefs, training and life experiences.

Our subconscious, which I believe is inherently supportive, evaluates our desires and life goals primarily based on literal interpretations of our thoughts and feelings. It develops a process to carry out what it believes we want without consideration of the accuracy or the long-term effects. For example, if we experience threats to our sense of vulnerability in childhood, we may tell ourselves that we will avoid interpersonal intimacy and vulnerability to avoid the painful hurt. Our subconscious may protect us by creating patterns of inaccessibility, irrational reactions, diminished self-esteem and other distractions. The result of this could be a lack of quality relationships, which then may reinforce lower self-esteem.

Our subconscious specifically creates an approach tailored uniquely to the individual. Over the years, I have found that this approach is incredibly effective and incorporates an intricate series of processes. The more complex the individual, the more complexity in the process.

I believe that a conscientious and quality Life Coach requires a thorough “detective” strategy to uncover the intent and approaches created by an individual’s subconscious. The individual is educated about these discoveries and given meaningful steps to change the patterns, which redirects the subconscious. Since this is not a therapeutic process, the goal is to utilize this information to make the necessary changes of the patterns and to continue the positive momentum without unnecessary focus on the psychological factors.

Seven Elements of Essence

NEW March Special. Learn about the Seven Elements of Essence. Find out how to use them. Only $95, from now until March 31, 2014. This is a Life Coaching savings of $80.

This Seven Elements of Essence telephone session guides you in embracing a compassionate, passionate and fulfilling life leading towards your true nature and life path. Learn what elements activate your highest energy and direction. Handle circumstances and situations with greater certainty and ease.

I completed my development of the Seven Elements of Essence after my first visit to the Vietnam Wall Memorial in 1989. I continue to apply these concepts in my coaching. Below is a brief description.

  1. Unconditional Compassion provides insight into others and yourself without a preconceived belief system.
  2. Nonjudgmental offers you the opportunity to experience moments in your life without attachments.
  3. Non self-importance gives you meaning and purpose for simply being, rather than doing.
  4. Vulnerability creates bridges rather than castles with drawbridges and moats.
  5. Patience promotes space and time to reflect.
  6. Presence allows you the means to use your intellect and intuition.
  7. Curiosity brings you the objective perspective balanced with a creative imagination to resolve issues. Einstein said, “I have no special talents….I am only passionately curious.”

When you apply one or more of these elements, you will have powerful tools to use for dramatically changing your life. If you can think of life changes that you desire, these Seven Elements of Essence can help you create wonderful opportunities.

Understand the value of establishing and maintaining balance, influencing instead of controlling, trusting your intuition, responding rather than reacting, and more.

After your personalized Life Coaching session about the Seven Elements of Essence, you will have a deeper understanding of how to embrace personal growth, purpose, spiritual awareness and your authentic self.

I believe that this session answers a number of significant personal questions you may have about your life.

To register for the session, fill out the Contact Information form on my Contact Stephen page.