Personal & Spiritual Growth

Here is a list of a few concepts from a new book about personal growth and spiritual process that I plan to publish 1n 2023, which covers some of what I teach in numerous workshops and share in my Life Coaching. As the book nears publication, I will post the information here and on my social media pages.

• The seven elements of essence
• Respond rather than react
• Influence rather than control
• Unconditional compassion rather than unconditional love
• We use 90% of our brain to keep us believing we only use 10%
• Embrace rather than comprehend
• Service rather than self-serve
• Understanding rather than judgment
• Embracing our essence rather than following our enculturation
• Lifestyle versus career
• Friendship rather than isolation
• Natural rather than normal
• Power rather than force
• Curiosity rather than fear
• Depth rather than shallow
• Understanding core beliefs rather than simply patterns
• Change rather than resistance
• Listening rather than talking
• Flexibility rather than rigidity
• Imagination rather than willpower
• Open-minded rather than dogma
• Living rather than dying
• Performance rather than trauma/drama
• Embracing rather than surrendering
• Optimism rather than pessimism
• Reverence for life rather than irreverence
• Responsibility rather than avoidance
• Essence rather than ego and personality
• Support rather than dominance
• Planning rather than worry
• Creativity rather than stagnation
• Transcend rather than circumvent


The Day The Earth Stood Still

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In 1951 when I was in elementary school, I watched movies during lunch along with a five cents bag of popcorn. One movie was The Day the Earth Stood Still. The film was one of the first science fiction genre that focused on humanity rather than extraterrestrial violence.

It was only recently when I  read “Farewell to the Master,” that I realized the movie came from a thought-provoking story written by Harry Bates in 1940 and how different the movie was from the original story. A decade later the story was made into a movie called, The Day the Earth Stood Still. The movie’s impact on me was monumental. From that day on, I changed my perspective about ‘aliens’ and referred to extraterrestrials as ‘friendlies.’

You might be asking yourself what this has to do with life coaching, the primary emphasis of this site. Well, it is about perspective. During my many years of providing counseling and then life coaching, it became clear that a person’s perspective could make all the difference in their achieving success, fulfillment, joy, abundance and a well-balanced lifestyle.

I am sure that you have your own examples of how changing your perspective made a difference in your life. I remember years ago when I was the executive director of a mental health agency in Southern California and two women walked into the office just before closing. One woman was obviously in great distress and sobbing. The other woman, unable to calm her friend down, decided to bring her for some mental health support. She shared how her friend’s house had just burned to the ground with everything she owned and how devastated she was.

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Life Coaching Tip: Balance, Order, Rhythm & Harmony


Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. ~Thomas Merton

We have been enculturated to establish two separate personalities. There is the ‘work you’ and the ‘not at work you’ who is everywhere else. I believe that it is wiser to become who we are, our authentic natural self wherever we are. We derive a great deal of meaningful, fulfilling pleasure and success by being more natural and integrated.

Here is a list for you to practice at both work and other areas of your life for a more balanced lifestyle.

  • Avoid perfectionism.
  • Set and enforce boundaries guilt-free boundaries. Learn to say “no.”
  • Avoid over-commitment.
  • Define your situation.
  • Embrace rather than react.
  • Create a schedule.
  • Find your own balance.
  • Have a back-up care plan.
  • Develop a strong support system.
  • Plan and prioritize.
  • Influence rather than control.
  • Encourage a wider perspective.
  • Respect your private time.
  • Stay closer with nature.
  • Outsource wherever you can.
  • Develop flexible schedules.
  • Devise creative ways to sleep, rest, eat and exercise.
  • Have a social life.
  • Practice mindfulness.
  • Set manageable goals each day.
  • Get personal and professional support.
  • Treat your body the best way that you can.
  • Do not obsess.
  • Learn what you can control and what you cannot.
  • Love, care and nurture your mind, body and spirit.
  • Recharge your emotional and physical batteries frequently.
  • Use technology.
  • Avoid interruptions.