Personal & Spiritual Growth

Here is a list of a few concepts from a new book about personal growth and spiritual process that I plan to publish by the end of this year, that covers some of what I teach in numerous workshops and share in my Life Coaching. As the book nears publication, I will post the information here and on my social media pages.

• The seven elements of essence
• Respond rather than react
• Influence rather than control
• Unconditional compassion rather than unconditional love
• We use 90% of our brain to keep us believing we only use 10%
• Embrace rather than comprehend
• Service rather than self-serve
• Understanding rather than judgment
• Embracing our essence rather than following our enculturation
• Lifestyle versus career
• Friendship rather than isolation
• Natural rather than normal
• Power rather than force
• Curiosity rather than fear
• Depth rather than shallow
• Understanding core beliefs rather than simply patterns
• Change rather than resistance
• Listening rather than talking
• Flexibility rather than rigidity
• Imagination rather than willpower
• Open-minded rather than dogma
• Living rather than dying
• Performance rather than trauma/drama
• Embracing rather than surrendering
• Optimism rather than pessimism
• Reverence for life rather than irreverence
• Responsibility rather than avoidance
• Essence rather than ego and personality
• Support rather than dominance
• Planning rather than worry
• Creativity rather than stagnation
• Transcend rather than circumvent


How to Survive the Loss of a Love



Many years ago I had a curious experience. In my private counseling practice in Phoenix, Arizona. I was talking with a young woman who was anxiously sitting on my couch and who had recently experienced loss of a love relationship when it ended. She appeared inconsolable.

In the midst of her sobbing, we both were drawn to a thin paperback book that seemed to leap out of the bookcase several feet away across the room and landed on the floor face down in front of the coffee table by the couch. It was too far to have simply fallen out of the bookcase.

I thought of the significance for a moment as we each gazed at the book and in turn, looked questioningly at each other.

Although I had no idea what the book was I then said, “If I were you I would take that book home and read it.”

She just stared as I got up from my recliner and walked to the book. Intrigued, I picked it up and turned it over to read the cover and then I turned it around so she could read the title, “How to Survive the Loss of a Love.”

Whatever you think caused this specific book to spring out of the bookshelf and land nearly at her feet just when she needed it the most, suspend your judgment and nurture an open mind. Opportunity can happen when you least expect it. Frequently in unexpected ways when you have the courage to embrace it.

Needless to say, she took the book and left. In anticipation, I waited for her return the following week for our next session.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

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In 1951 when I was in elementary school, I watched movies during lunch along with a five cents bag of popcorn. One movie was The Day the Earth Stood Still. The film was one of the first science fiction genre that focused on humanity rather than extraterrestrial violence.

It was only recently when I  read “Farewell to the Master,” that I realized the movie came from a thought-provoking story written by Harry Bates in 1940 and how different the movie was from the original story. A decade later the story was made into a movie called, The Day the Earth Stood Still. The movie’s impact on me was monumental. From that day on, I changed my perspective about ‘aliens’ and referred to extraterrestrials as ‘friendlies.’

You might be asking yourself what this has to do with life coaching, the primary emphasis of this site. Well, it is about perspective. During my many years of providing counseling and then life coaching, it became clear that a person’s perspective could make all the difference in their achieving success, fulfillment, joy, abundance and a well-balanced lifestyle.

I am sure that you have your own examples of how changing your perspective made a difference in your life. I remember years ago when I was the executive director of a mental health agency in Southern California and two women walked into the office just before closing. One woman was obviously in great distress and sobbing. The other woman, unable to calm her friend down, decided to bring her for some mental health support. She shared how her friend’s house had just burned to the ground with everything she owned and how devastated she was.

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