Personal & Spiritual Growth

Here is a list of a few concepts from a new book about personal growth and spiritual process that I plan to publish 1n 2023, which covers some of what I teach in numerous workshops and share in my Life Coaching. As the book nears publication, I will post the information here and on my social media pages.

• The seven elements of essence
• Respond rather than react
• Influence rather than control
• Unconditional compassion rather than unconditional love
• We use 90% of our brain to keep us believing we only use 10%
• Embrace rather than comprehend
• Service rather than self-serve
• Understanding rather than judgment
• Embracing our essence rather than following our enculturation
• Lifestyle versus career
• Friendship rather than isolation
• Natural rather than normal
• Power rather than force
• Curiosity rather than fear
• Depth rather than shallow
• Understanding core beliefs rather than simply patterns
• Change rather than resistance
• Listening rather than talking
• Flexibility rather than rigidity
• Imagination rather than willpower
• Open-minded rather than dogma
• Living rather than dying
• Performance rather than trauma/drama
• Embracing rather than surrendering
• Optimism rather than pessimism
• Reverence for life rather than irreverence
• Responsibility rather than avoidance
• Essence rather than ego and personality
• Support rather than dominance
• Planning rather than worry
• Creativity rather than stagnation
• Transcend rather than circumvent


How to Survive the Loss of a Love



Many years ago I had a curious experience. In my private counseling practice in Phoenix, Arizona. I was talking with a young woman who was anxiously sitting on my couch and who had recently experienced loss of a love relationship when it ended. She appeared inconsolable.

In the midst of her sobbing, we both were drawn to a thin paperback book that seemed to leap out of the bookcase several feet away across the room and landed on the floor face down in front of the coffee table by the couch. It was too far to have simply fallen out of the bookcase.

I thought of the significance for a moment as we each gazed at the book and in turn, looked questioningly at each other.

Although I had no idea what the book was I then said, “If I were you I would take that book home and read it.”

She just stared as I got up from my recliner and walked to the book. Intrigued, I picked it up and turned it over to read the cover and then I turned it around so she could read the title, “How to Survive the Loss of a Love.”

Whatever you think caused this specific book to spring out of the bookshelf and land nearly at her feet just when she needed it the most, suspend your judgment and nurture an open mind. Opportunity can happen when you least expect it. Frequently in unexpected ways when you have the courage to embrace it.

Needless to say, she took the book and left. In anticipation, I waited for her return the following week for our next session.

Life Coaching Tip: Balance, Order, Rhythm & Harmony


Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony. ~Thomas Merton

We have been enculturated to establish two separate personalities. There is the ‘work you’ and the ‘not at work you’ who is everywhere else. I believe that it is wiser to become who we are, our authentic natural self wherever we are. We derive a great deal of meaningful, fulfilling pleasure and success by being more natural and integrated.

Here is a list for you to practice at both work and other areas of your life for a more balanced lifestyle.

  • Avoid perfectionism.
  • Set and enforce boundaries guilt-free boundaries. Learn to say “no.”
  • Avoid over-commitment.
  • Define your situation.
  • Embrace rather than react.
  • Create a schedule.
  • Find your own balance.
  • Have a back-up care plan.
  • Develop a strong support system.
  • Plan and prioritize.
  • Influence rather than control.
  • Encourage a wider perspective.
  • Respect your private time.
  • Stay closer with nature.
  • Outsource wherever you can.
  • Develop flexible schedules.
  • Devise creative ways to sleep, rest, eat and exercise.
  • Have a social life.
  • Practice mindfulness.
  • Set manageable goals each day.
  • Get personal and professional support.
  • Treat your body the best way that you can.
  • Do not obsess.
  • Learn what you can control and what you cannot.
  • Love, care and nurture your mind, body and spirit.
  • Recharge your emotional and physical batteries frequently.
  • Use technology.
  • Avoid interruptions.